“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?”
-C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
The love of a Shepherd
“You don’t have to worry about anything. Just breathe, and we will do everything else for you. Just rest.” She whispered into the ear of a very frail lamb (admittedly, a mostly dead one.) She wasn’t giving up on the precious little thing, though. For 10 hours she prayed over this lamb, sang softly to her, and vowed to get up every 2 hours to tube feed. She slept on the floor in the kitchen, snuggled up to the lamb and the heater. As I sat with them, my heart was breaking. I was sure we were too late to save this one, and dreading the tears we’d share in the night. But we had to try.
There was a time in my life when I greatly underestimated the love and the tenderness of God for me. But grief has a funny way of proving the strength of the rope, over time. Perhaps not in the moment, when dangling over the precipice and every ounce of strength is given to pure survival. But afterward, when you can look back and say “There is no way I would be here without that rope.” I would never have known just how true and trustworthy it was, had my life not depended on it.
Tested and sure
Faith in the love and sufficiency of Jesus is so like this. Over time, we see how every other rope we try to hang on to eventually either burns up or snaps.
My works, effort, and righteousness? That rope was built with “filthy rags”. It frazzled, frayed, and disintegrated. Isaiah 64:6
My inner strength? It was full of holes and more worthless than a screen door on a submarine. 2 Cor. 3:5
Supportive friends and family? They couldn’t cut it. All of them, hand-in-hand, rescue chain style, couldn’t give what I needed. They were a tangible expression of His love toward me. But not enough.
But then, there was Jesus. The anchor for my soul. Hebrews 6:17-19
When sister whispered, “just rest” to that little suffering lamb, it struck me. The love of this 8-year-old shepherdess for her lamb was immense. And yet, it pales in comparison with the Great Shepherd’s love for us.
So…… what does this have to do with embryo adoption?
If you’re in the trenches of adoption or infertility, you already know. The breaking, the hurting, the loss is often all-too great to bear. I’ve begun to see the gift that sorrow brings: the assurance that Jesus is enough. I wouldn’t know just how true this is if my life had not depended on it.
So, if you’re excited about embryo adoption, but terrified of loss, that’s the hope I have for you. It wouldn’t be worth it if it weren’t for Him. But He truly makes all things work together for good. All you have to do is abide. And He will handle the rest.
The Bible calls the fruit of the womb a reward. And I speculate that the ones in heaven are just as much a reward for us as the ones living here. Perhaps, more so. The opportunity to give so much love with no expectation or guarantee of return is an honor and reward in itself. Our Shepherd did that for us. He understands. He will give you strength to do it, too. 🤍
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